Out of town: Day 1 of 22 

Featured photo: sunset from my parents town

I meant to leave town yesterday. I thought I’d be here for my parents 50th wedding anniversary surprise party. Yup. Fail bus. 

I’ve been exhausted. I’ve been trying to veg out, be a touch social and still get all my work done. I’ve been working 14 hour days. Working on the weekends and I’m still not prepared for this coming week. 

I thought I could go to the chiropractor and see my dentist for a check up then drive to my parents town 7 hours away on Friday. Easy peasey. 

Insert failbus. Like a huge tour bus of fail. You see, in order to leave from the dentist meant my work had to be done. It also meant on Thursday my house would need to be cleaned and I would be packed for a weekend at my parents, a week in the office downstate and 2 weeks of car camping/ possible backpacking in conditions from 40 degree mountains to 100 degree valleys.

Wanna know how I spent my Thursday night? Working until 11 pm at night. Yup. Awesome. 

Friday I was called to research more items, take pictures and measurements, send emails, answer phone calls etc. I decided by 4 pm I needed a nap then I could pack and drive. When I woke up at 6 pm I vetoed driving for fear of falling asleep. Suddenly it was 11 pm and I had time warped into the future somehow just by sitting on the couch. Still not packed, I went to bed.  Geared to wake up in 5 hours. 

Of course I laid in bed longer than I should, I debated on what to pack and how and finally crunch time came and went and in a hurricane action I threw stuff in bags, threw it in my car and without looking back I left. 3 hours later than I should have. 

I arrived 2 hours late to my parents party. So far on night one of 22 nights away from home, I already think I forgot to pack my glasses. MY GLASSSES! I’ve got at least one pair of extra contacts for the next 22 days and i do not have decent vision. I can’t drive, I can barely walk without glasses or contacts. Hopefully I threw them in my other bag and quickly searching in the dark I simply missed them. Otherwise I pray my dog sitter can express mail them to me. Ekk.  Not going to lie, I’m freaking out. 

Also, remember my sexting subcontractor? He texted me at 3 am again. I sent him a follow up text saying it was unfair he only texted after bar close and he needed to invite me out for a drink. He replied a few hours later, You’re right. I’ll make it up. 

We spoke several times on Wednesday and Thursday about work. I could hear him smiling on the other line, I enjoyed how he said Hello & Goodbye with my name. How we started just saying Hey when answering the phone and smiling. I’m smitten. Fully smitten with this boy. Now I have to wait 22 days before we’re even in the same town. 

22 days wondering if he’s sexting someone else at 3 am. If he remembers his promise to make it up to me or that I even exist. 

Arggg. He’s really really adorable. 

Some people say they met someone and instantly knew they were going to marry them. That they were going to pursue them until it happened. Sometimes I think that I think that about everyone. But I want to say that about this guy. He’s the bees knees. 

Sigh. It’s dreamy just thinking about him. 

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In the rear view 

I was conscious today of my diet. That didn’t mean I listened. I brought a box of cheerios and skim milk to the hotel. Instead of jetting to McD’s or BK in the morning and tossing back 1000 calories, I’ve had a reasonable bowl of cheerios. For me, that’s a giant step. 

But this morning I was rushed, and tho I gave myself time for cereal, I didn’t make time for coffee. I made a stop at Starbucks and immediately ordered my go to. Iced lemon pound cake and large latte. As I sat in the drive though I read the board. I could have gotten a 5 calorie, cheaper black coffee instead. And the pound cake? It wasn’t in the menu but weight watchers lists it as 21 points. I only get 30 something for the day. Now on top of that I wanted to go to the German restaurant in town. Even still I ate a 15 point sandwich for lunch. Then I argued with myself before choosing the German restaurant although I wasn’t really hungry. I went over my points for the day, I ate double what I should have. 

Things are clearer in the rear view. This is why I’m not losing. This is why I’m gaining weight and I know it. I need to keep acknowledging it. Keep realizing the food, it’s delicious, but it’s not worth being constantly ashamed of your own skin. 

Acknowledgement is the first step to beating addiction right? That’s what I have, a food addiction. 

I caught a picture of the setting sun in my side view mirror. Perhaps somewhere in the middle of the looking ahead and looking behind I can see the sun. I just need to keep focus and see it in front of me each day. I’ll get there.