Two weeks

Featured image: a calm Lake Superior looking innocent as a swimming pool

Oh Boy. Don’t think I’ve given up on you. I’ve thought about posting. I had thoughts to tell you. But I have been pulling 12-14 hour days for work. 

We’re developing a large project and everyone is out of time. I’m still out of time. In the past, well over a month, I’ve only missed 3 days of walking. Today is my 4th though I was active for work. Well, more than normal. 

Things have been exciting and crazy and drunken. I went to Chicago, saw Everclear, went to a German Fest, ran into an old HS friend. I went kayaking. It’s been 85 down to 52 degrees outside. There have been thunder and lighting storms, rain and full sunny days. Whoo, I mean so much!

But I’m still working. It’s 9 pm. I need to take the garbage out cuz I skipped it last week. I also need to do laundry and more work and dishes and pick up the house for the potential new dog sitter tomorrow. 

Oh yea, and more work. 

I have 2 more weeks before I leave for my epic vacation. But 1 more week before I leave my house to strangers for 3 weeks while they pet sit for me. 

Ekk. 

Ok. Back to work. I’ll be sure to try harder to take a minute to post. Especially while on my trip!

Time

Featured photo: icy harbor in my town. Taken a few days ago. 

I always make the excuse that I have no time. I’m traveling, I work so much, I spend the weekends out. 

How can I clean or repair my house when I have no time. 

It’s a semi decent excuse but still a lie. I’ve been home for 1.5 weeks. My house, yup, still a mess. I realized how awful at first glance my house looks. A hanging planter , left upside down in the leaf covered flower bed. A electrical wire conduit flopped in the middle of a walkway outside. Broken solar spotlights and an old hose bib left by the front stairs. Bags of pebbles, firewood and random garbage at the end of the driveway. A broken plastic lawn chair in the backyard. What a mess! But I don’t have the time…

Today I bought a book on Audible, Maybe It’s You. It’s a self help book and I slightly listened to it while working. I get the gist that it’s cutting the crap with excuses and manning up to whatever it is that you are doing to prevent yourself from doing what you want or need to do. 

So at 4:30, with headphones in, I raked out all my flower beds that outline my property. Fall happened late this year after leaf pickup by the city. My yard is matted with blankets of wet old leaves. I then picked up a lot of the trash, there is now a big blue bin at the end of my driveway, waiting for the city dump to open. 

It was an hour & 1/2 of labor. Though all the leaves in the backyard are still in the backyard. Just not in the flower beds. Baby steps. 

Regardless, it felt good to get my ass up and accomplish something. Now just to finish the job and every other piece of my life. 

One day. 

But it’s time for me to make the time and get on track with my life. One day is today. 

Ps. 1 full week logging points and staying (very close) to goal. Let’s keep the streak going!

Budgets and Calories

Feature photo: today’s Sky in my town. 

I realized my goal for March came and went as quickly as I thought of it. Save money, don’t dine out unless invited, diet, study for an exam and exercise. Basically none of it happened. I racked up my credit cards again,gained weight, ate out a ton, didn’t study,  unsure if I went to the gym once. 

This month my goal will be to clean and keep my house clean. All I need to do is pretend a date is coming over. You want a clean house right? Then, if I get take-out food I must be thrifty. Under $10 unless you’re invited out. That should help with saving money. And by being thrifty I’m hoping I order less food, which helps with dieting! 

Let’s see what I can do. So far my house is still trashed, I ate a boatload of deep fried chicken wings, but it was 1/2 price wings tonight so I got them at a deal. 1 outta… like 5 ain’t bad. 

Bats in my belfry

It’s been 2 years since my relationship crumbled. 2 years since I’ve even kissed anyone. It’s strange to think about. 

I’ve never been a big dater. I go from relationship to dry spell to relationship. But being older, fatter, and a hermit (I like to poke fun at myself) decreases your luck of a new date. I’ve been trying, thinking about what I wear and putting on make-up rather than rolling out of bed and putting on anything that appeared clean, wrinkled or not. I’ve been on the dating sites, gone on a few dates, but this town is small and the online dating pool is even smaller. 

Friday I worked from Starbucks. Excited a young cute fellow with a charming southern accent asked if the seat next to me was taken. I attempted small talk for a minute but he was wrapped up in his iPad. 

Friday night I saw the new movie Life with married friends. The theater was empty. Saturday, I had brunch with the same married couple, then went to an RV/outdoor rec expo. I attempted to smile at any man in sight, but everyone is wrapped up in their phone, or friends, or obviously with a significant other, that communication doesn’t really happen between people. 

At one point my friend was talking to a sales guy, and his personality was charming. I stared at him, almost willing him to look at me. I inspected every detail of his face. His hair-do, it was different and suited his face, his framed glasses that were unique, the strands of grey/silver hair throughout his head, I couldn’t distinguish an age though his face was youthful.  I inspected all of it while obviously staring like a full on stalker, being annoyed he didn’t once glance at me. Now, part of me being such a creeper, and quite obvious to it, is the fact that he was a sales person. I’d be a horrific sales person. But you know their game, firm eye contact with their prey, making them feel like the only person who matters, which is why I assumed I’d get away with my extreme gaze. 

At the end of the conversation, his focus still locked on my married friend, who also was the person with intentions of purchasing something, he said goodbye and  as we all turned to walk away he quickly turned to me and said, I like your Misfits shirt. 

WTF. All that time. Staring at him, inspecting his every detail, trying to find a wedding ring, or lack there of (that hand was in a pocket). Thinking he hadn’t even noticed I was awkwardly standing by. But, I like your band tshirt, means little right?

Let me break it down, as I tend to over analyze everything. 

1. The Misfits are well known and not. They were/are an underground garage horror punk band from late 70s/early 80s. They weren’t really around long before Danzig got moody and decided to go solo. People have a cult following to the band, numerous bands have covered their songs, the skull logo, or Crimson ghost, is easily recognized, tho some people may not know what it’s for but I’m sure they’ll say they’ve seen it. Also the band kinda got back together in the 2000s, and just last year Danzig and 2 original (if you count Doyle as original but let’s not get picky…) performed 2 shows, one of which I was at. Now I’m going on a tangent. My point is, the band isn’t for everyone tho many may recognize it. 

2. He acknowledged my band tshirt. Is he a fan? Was it just a compliment to the shirt? The band? The person in the shirt? 

3. Was it still just a -I’m a likable guy, I like your friends, buy something from me ploy?

As we walked away my friend said, You should have given him your number! And I thought, What!?!

Dating before, it was all about slipping someone your number. There was no internet dating, social media, nothing. If you liked someone you could attempt to set up a meeting spot, if not connect on the spot, or give them your digits and pray you were home or an answering machine was around. Ok let’s be legit, by the time I was 20 I had a cell phone and before that I had a pager. Still it was a cut throat world. (I’m being dramatic I know, go with it)

How tho, in this day and age do you give someone, in passing, your number? Do you walk around with scraps of paper, prime to distribute? Do you hand out business cards randomly? How? Especially when they make one comment towards you at the end of a conversation? And did anyone see a ring? What about a girlfriend? How would we know?

Am I getting too crazy? Welcome to my brain.  How does one ask out someone now a days? How did we ever? It was different meeting someone in High school or college. Meeting friends of friends or being wasted at a bar and dancing up on someone until you’re in a corner making out and finally exchange numbers, and first names… that was easy. But now, in our late 30s with our phones applied directly in front of our faces, when we text and are surprised when our phones rings- who calls anymore anyway? – when we hit the bar less, go to bed early and wake up early and rarely do anything late, how do people meet?

I was excited that he spoke to me after purposefully assuming he wouldn’t. Is that just because I assumed he wouldn’t? Was it made more exciting by my friend thinking it was something? I immediately felt like a teenager and a boy I liked just punched me in the arm. I don’t know how to take it. I giggled and said no way I’d give him my number … but why?

As any good single lady of the late 2010s (do we have a name for this decade? You can’t just call it the 10s, and soon we’ll be in the 20’s but 1920 was ONLY 100 years ago. We’re more clever than that..aren’t we?) … can you tell I’m half asleep? My brain is wandering… anyway I got home and quickly googled searched him. 

Easy enough, I knew where he worked and his first name. Told you this town was small. His FB is a work profile. I browsed the white pages and an address listed is 2 blocks from me (if that’s accurate/recent). He’s 1 year older than me and no mention of family but no mention of the lack there of either. 

Is that creepy that I learned all that? Again it was a 10 sec google search. 

Part of me thinks, I could send a FB note. I could reach out to him, but all from a “I like your tshirt” comment? It’s esssntially the same as a craigslist missed connections ad right? Only this time you know the intended audience will see it. 

I dated a guy once from essentially the same situation. He stood behind while at a bar and said, “Hey Phil Collins” referring to the music playing. I had said the same to my friend at the same time and we acknowledged that Phil Collins is awesome (I mean duh). We chatted enough for him to tell me where he worked, I googled him and wrote him an email. He ended up being pretty crazy and we dated for a few months, he’s a whole different chapter for another time tho. 

Sigh. I’m kinda torn on where to go from here Mr. tshirt sales guy (he wasn’t selling tshirts lol). 

Featured Picture: Picture of a bat Halloween decoration on my porch. Yes, it’s March and he’s been up there since 2013