The crush is back

Photo: my cat snoozing on me.

So, last April I met a subcontractor. We asked him to bid a job and asked his opinion on different projects.

In May we walked sites, talking, laughing, enjoying each other’s company. After what was a huge misunderstanding, I believe he thought I was being ridiculously bold by flirting with him. And while, I was flirting, I just wasn’t being as wildly bold. It was actually just a misunderstanding.

I got a text the next morning- a sext I should say, which is when I was shocked by his boldness. It took me a long time to connect the dots.

I turned him down, only because of the job. The flirting continued. The sexual tension grew. But nothing happened.

Then he went to Milwaukee, and slowly our texts and calls faded into oblivion. His family started taking over for him and it was just said that he was busy.

Soon enough it was in the newspapers. He was arrested for cocain. The more it was discussed, the more it became a horrible story. It wasn’t random. It was explained that he had an addiction for some time.

He went to jail then rehab. His mother gave me more insight. She dropped hints of how he was doing now and again. But soon I felt wrong to ask and there was no more talk.

Suddenly last Tuesday I got an email from his email address. It’s a family business, they all could log into his account. I assumed it was his brother, and called him to leave a voicemail.

When I didn’t hear a response, I emailed back and copied everyone. He kept emailing but I asked him to call me back without a call.

He said to call him at a different number. Insisting I call rather than he. I knew it had to be him.

Finally today I waited until everyone left the office and called him. I had the biggest dumb grin and I was talking in circles. I don’t know what he thought. He will call me tomorrow. He’s still not back in town. His sentencing is Friday- though he thinks it will be ok. It’s still nerve wrecking.

I want to scream from the rooftops that I’ve talked to him. I want to tell my friends but tell them what? It’s nothing. I talked to a criminal that could do prison time and here I am ready to do cartwheels.

I’m not even sure that my boss will let him be back on the project. I’m making a point of it to meet him when my boss won’t around.

I just need to talk about it. He’s the first guy who made me feel smart and beautiful. My ex had beaten down my sense of self. He made me feel ugly, stupid and worthless. It’s so much more than a cute boy who texted me inappropriate things as business associates.

But is it more? Stayed tuned for part 2.


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