I’ve rejoined the dating world. I promised myself I wouldn’t until I was comfortable with my weight but when will that day come? I don’t want to wait forever. I’m still spinning around with my head cut off trying to stay afloat.
So I’ve joined match, tinder, okcupid, bagelmeetscoffee, and bumble. You think I could find somebody but I live in a very small area and sure there are guys old enough to be my dad liking my profile. There are 20 year old kids wanting to be friends which makes me wonder if there’s a mental disability there. It’s just weird. I had one conversation. He asked for my number, I got his and never heard from him again though he promised to text me the next day. So be it. Life in the dating world in 2017.
I joined all the sites hoping to find my electrician. The job was under way and he seemed to be off the project. I thought it was my shot to pounce but his profile was gone. I had hoped to see him somewhere. I thought I had seen him at beer fest, with a girl but it didn’t look romantic. We seemed to be starring at each other and he even moved closer but I never got close enough to determine if it was him. Sigh.
We had a meeting with the utility in town and one of the guys is completely my type. Tall, heavier set guy with a classically attractive face. Very manly. I had hopes of dealing with him more but that doesn’t seem to be happening. He’s on match and tinder but I had swiped left on him cuz I thought he might work for something with this project. I was very right. Sadly I don’t think he’s been on the website. I believe I saw him at the grocery store butt he was with a small child and a woman. I’m hoping it’s his sister but there is no way of knowing. Sad.
In other horrific news, you know my electrician? The one I just mentioned above? The one I had deemed so perfect. The one I turned away though I wanted him so badly. The one I vowed to marry? He was arrested two weeks ago. Evading police, expired tags on his vehicle and cocaine with intent to sell. I can’t even fathom it. He may/probably will get prison time. Prison! He didn’t seem that stupid, I thought he was brilliant, he was caring and funny, witty… who am I kidding I thought he was the best of the best and interested in me. ME! But he may have been on coke. Maybe that explains the late night texts. The ballsey attitude by phone but in person the shy demeanor. Who knows. There were two other guys in the car with him. Two 21 year old which doesn’t make sense. He just should have known better. I’m incredibly sad. For me, for his family, for the business. I can only hope he gets his shit straight. I honestly wish him the best. He had a huge house, was co-owner and president of a well respected busy business. He was hot beyond my understanding. Now he’s probably going to prison for a felony. Wtf man. I just dunno.
Other than the lack of dating life, though I’m out in full display… I’ve just been busy. Work is nuts. I’m attempting to get stuff done before the snow flies. I feel like I haven’t seen much of my friends except for a fire in my backyard last weekend. I cleaned my house just in time to trash it again. Luckily I actually got my yard decorated for Halloween and I feel pretty good about it. I’ve sold my dresser and replaced it with a vanity. I sold some Halloween decorations that only gave me stress by blowing over or away. My promotion went through, sadly with no back pay as I was hoping but it’s definitely more money which is great. Hopefully I can get my shit together enough to start yoga, loose some weight, find a new dad for my cats, they are my ex’s after all, and maybe have a date for New Years.
The one thing I can thank my electrician for its giving me enough self esteem and finding self love in order to start the search for love. Maybe I don’t end up with him. Maybe he wasn’t right for me, but the universe still allowed him into my life to boost my spirits and remember that I can bag a hot guy. I’m smart, funny, beautiful, and fun to be around. I’m worth a good guy who can see it. I just have to see the good in him as well.