It’s been 2 years since my relationship crumbled. 2 years since I’ve even kissed anyone. It’s strange to think about.
I’ve never been a big dater. I go from relationship to dry spell to relationship. But being older, fatter, and a hermit (I like to poke fun at myself) decreases your luck of a new date. I’ve been trying, thinking about what I wear and putting on make-up rather than rolling out of bed and putting on anything that appeared clean, wrinkled or not. I’ve been on the dating sites, gone on a few dates, but this town is small and the online dating pool is even smaller.
Friday I worked from Starbucks. Excited a young cute fellow with a charming southern accent asked if the seat next to me was taken. I attempted small talk for a minute but he was wrapped up in his iPad.
Friday night I saw the new movie Life with married friends. The theater was empty. Saturday, I had brunch with the same married couple, then went to an RV/outdoor rec expo. I attempted to smile at any man in sight, but everyone is wrapped up in their phone, or friends, or obviously with a significant other, that communication doesn’t really happen between people.
At one point my friend was talking to a sales guy, and his personality was charming. I stared at him, almost willing him to look at me. I inspected every detail of his face. His hair-do, it was different and suited his face, his framed glasses that were unique, the strands of grey/silver hair throughout his head, I couldn’t distinguish an age though his face was youthful. I inspected all of it while obviously staring like a full on stalker, being annoyed he didn’t once glance at me. Now, part of me being such a creeper, and quite obvious to it, is the fact that he was a sales person. I’d be a horrific sales person. But you know their game, firm eye contact with their prey, making them feel like the only person who matters, which is why I assumed I’d get away with my extreme gaze.
At the end of the conversation, his focus still locked on my married friend, who also was the person with intentions of purchasing something, he said goodbye and as we all turned to walk away he quickly turned to me and said, I like your Misfits shirt.
WTF. All that time. Staring at him, inspecting his every detail, trying to find a wedding ring, or lack there of (that hand was in a pocket). Thinking he hadn’t even noticed I was awkwardly standing by. But, I like your band tshirt, means little right?
Let me break it down, as I tend to over analyze everything.
1. The Misfits are well known and not. They were/are an underground garage horror punk band from late 70s/early 80s. They weren’t really around long before Danzig got moody and decided to go solo. People have a cult following to the band, numerous bands have covered their songs, the skull logo, or Crimson ghost, is easily recognized, tho some people may not know what it’s for but I’m sure they’ll say they’ve seen it. Also the band kinda got back together in the 2000s, and just last year Danzig and 2 original (if you count Doyle as original but let’s not get picky…) performed 2 shows, one of which I was at. Now I’m going on a tangent. My point is, the band isn’t for everyone tho many may recognize it.
2. He acknowledged my band tshirt. Is he a fan? Was it just a compliment to the shirt? The band? The person in the shirt?
3. Was it still just a -I’m a likable guy, I like your friends, buy something from me ploy?
As we walked away my friend said, You should have given him your number! And I thought, What!?!
Dating before, it was all about slipping someone your number. There was no internet dating, social media, nothing. If you liked someone you could attempt to set up a meeting spot, if not connect on the spot, or give them your digits and pray you were home or an answering machine was around. Ok let’s be legit, by the time I was 20 I had a cell phone and before that I had a pager. Still it was a cut throat world. (I’m being dramatic I know, go with it)
How tho, in this day and age do you give someone, in passing, your number? Do you walk around with scraps of paper, prime to distribute? Do you hand out business cards randomly? How? Especially when they make one comment towards you at the end of a conversation? And did anyone see a ring? What about a girlfriend? How would we know?
Am I getting too crazy? Welcome to my brain. How does one ask out someone now a days? How did we ever? It was different meeting someone in High school or college. Meeting friends of friends or being wasted at a bar and dancing up on someone until you’re in a corner making out and finally exchange numbers, and first names… that was easy. But now, in our late 30s with our phones applied directly in front of our faces, when we text and are surprised when our phones rings- who calls anymore anyway? – when we hit the bar less, go to bed early and wake up early and rarely do anything late, how do people meet?
I was excited that he spoke to me after purposefully assuming he wouldn’t. Is that just because I assumed he wouldn’t? Was it made more exciting by my friend thinking it was something? I immediately felt like a teenager and a boy I liked just punched me in the arm. I don’t know how to take it. I giggled and said no way I’d give him my number … but why?
As any good single lady of the late 2010s (do we have a name for this decade? You can’t just call it the 10s, and soon we’ll be in the 20’s but 1920 was ONLY 100 years ago. We’re more clever than that..aren’t we?) … can you tell I’m half asleep? My brain is wandering… anyway I got home and quickly googled searched him.
Easy enough, I knew where he worked and his first name. Told you this town was small. His FB is a work profile. I browsed the white pages and an address listed is 2 blocks from me (if that’s accurate/recent). He’s 1 year older than me and no mention of family but no mention of the lack there of either.
Is that creepy that I learned all that? Again it was a 10 sec google search.
Part of me thinks, I could send a FB note. I could reach out to him, but all from a “I like your tshirt” comment? It’s esssntially the same as a craigslist missed connections ad right? Only this time you know the intended audience will see it.
I dated a guy once from essentially the same situation. He stood behind while at a bar and said, “Hey Phil Collins” referring to the music playing. I had said the same to my friend at the same time and we acknowledged that Phil Collins is awesome (I mean duh). We chatted enough for him to tell me where he worked, I googled him and wrote him an email. He ended up being pretty crazy and we dated for a few months, he’s a whole different chapter for another time tho.
Sigh. I’m kinda torn on where to go from here Mr. tshirt sales guy (he wasn’t selling tshirts lol).
Featured Picture: Picture of a bat Halloween decoration on my porch. Yes, it’s March and he’s been up there since 2013