In the rear view 

I was conscious today of my diet. That didn’t mean I listened. I brought a box of cheerios and skim milk to the hotel. Instead of jetting to McD’s or BK in the morning and tossing back 1000 calories, I’ve had a reasonable bowl of cheerios. For me, that’s a giant step. 

But this morning I was rushed, and tho I gave myself time for cereal, I didn’t make time for coffee. I made a stop at Starbucks and immediately ordered my go to. Iced lemon pound cake and large latte. As I sat in the drive though I read the board. I could have gotten a 5 calorie, cheaper black coffee instead. And the pound cake? It wasn’t in the menu but weight watchers lists it as 21 points. I only get 30 something for the day. Now on top of that I wanted to go to the German restaurant in town. Even still I ate a 15 point sandwich for lunch. Then I argued with myself before choosing the German restaurant although I wasn’t really hungry. I went over my points for the day, I ate double what I should have. 

Things are clearer in the rear view. This is why I’m not losing. This is why I’m gaining weight and I know it. I need to keep acknowledging it. Keep realizing the food, it’s delicious, but it’s not worth being constantly ashamed of your own skin. 

Acknowledgement is the first step to beating addiction right? That’s what I have, a food addiction. 

I caught a picture of the setting sun in my side view mirror. Perhaps somewhere in the middle of the looking ahead and looking behind I can see the sun. I just need to keep focus and see it in front of me each day. I’ll get there. 

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